Alright, alright, let me tell ya somethin’ ’bout this wrestling fella, Roman Reigns. Folks keep talkin’ ’bout him, so I figured I’d chime in.
This Roman fella, he’s a big deal, I guess. They say he held that championship belt for a long, long time. Thirteen hundred and some days, they say. That’s a lot of days, even for countin’ chickens! Don’t rightly know what kind of belt it is, somethin’ called “Undisputed WWE Universal Championship.” Sounds fancy, but it’s just a belt, right? Folks get all worked up over it, though.
He was gone for a spell, four months they say. Took a break, like when you’re done plantin’ taters and need a rest. But then he came back, this “Tribal Chief” they call him. Now, I ain’t sure what kinda chief he is, ain’t no Indians ’round here, but he seems important.
This wrestling stuff, it’s kinda like a soap opera, you know? Lots of drama. Folks fightin’, folks betrayin’ each other. This Roman guy, he got folks callin’ him out for bein’ mean, apparently. “Abuse,” they call it. Sounds like somethin’ my old man used to do after too much moonshine, but I reckon it’s different in wrestlin’.
Then there’s this “Bloodline” thing. Sounds like somethin’ from the old country, you know, families stickin’ together. But these folks, they fight amongst themselves too. Like that time my cousin Billy fought with his brother over a piece of land. Happens all the time, family or not.
- They say this Roman fella came back to remind some other fella, Solo Sikoa, who’s the real boss.
- And there’s talk of this Paul Heyman guy doin’ favors. Don’t know what kinda favors, but in my experience, favors always come with a price.
- And this Cody Rhodes fella, he’s supposed to show up too. More drama, I bet.
They had some kinda fightin’ tournament too. One fella, Shinsuke Nakamura, he won his match. Smart fella, he made the other guy, Andrade, crash into somethin’ and then finished him off. Reminds me of that time I tricked that old fox into the henhouse… well, never mind that story.
This SmackDown show, it’s on TV, they say. They filmed it already, in Salt Lake City. I ain’t never been there, but I hear it’s pretty. They say in the fights, sometimes it’s two against one, sometimes three against two. Unfair, if you ask me, but that’s how they do things in wrestlin’, I guess.
So, this Roman Reigns fella, he’s the big cheese, the top dog. He’s been gone, he’s come back, he’s fightin’, he’s arguin’. Sounds like a whole lotta fuss to me, but folks seem to like it. They cheer, they boo, they get all riled up. Me? I just sit here with my tea and watch the chickens. That’s enough excitement for one day.
And they crowned a new champion too. Don’t know who it is, probably some other muscle-bound fella. They change champions like I change my socks, which ain’t sayin’ much, mind you. But that’s the way of it, I guess. One day you’re on top, the next day you’re yesterday’s news. Like that prize-winning pumpkin I grew last year, everyone was talkin’ ’bout it, and then, pfft, gone. Just like that.
So that’s the lowdown on this Roman Reigns and this SmackDown thing, as best as I can figure. Lots of fightin’, lots of drama, lots of folks yellin’. Not much different than a family reunion, if you ask me.
Tags: Roman Reigns, WWE SmackDown, Cody Rhodes, The Bloodline, Wrestling, Championship
