Alright, alright, let’s yak about this BG3 thing, the one with them three zombies, or whatever. My grandkids keep yappin’ about it, so I figured, why not? Can’t be harder than chasing chickens, right?
So, this BG3, it’s got all sorts of them… character classes, they call ‘em. Sounds fancy, but it’s just like pickin’ a job back in my day. You got your Sorcerers and Wizards, them’s the flashy ones, the ones throwin’ fireballs and whatnot. My grandkid says they’re the best, always zappin’ everything. Like them firecrackers on New Year’s, only louder and deadlier.
Then you got your Clerics and Druids. Folks think Clerics just sit around and heal, but my grandkid says they’re sneaky good at fightin’ too. Druids, well, they’re all about nature and stuff, turnin’ into bears and wolves. Reminds me of old man Johnson’s dog, always bitin’ at your ankles.
- Sorcerers and Wizards: The show-offs, good at blastin’ stuff.
- Clerics: More than just healers, they can pack a punch too.
- Druids: Nature lovers, turnin’ into critters and such.
Now, there’s this Warlock fella too. My grandkid says they ain’t all that great, somethin’ about makin’ deals with spooky beings. Sounds like sellin’ your soul to the devil to me, and that ain’t never a good idea. Always causes more trouble than it’s worth, just like that time old Billy tried to fix his tractor with duct tape and a prayer.
This whole BG3 thing, it’s set in some place called Faerum or Baldur’s Gate. Sounds foreign. Probably got them fancy city folk with their noses in the air. But from what I hear, there’s a lot of fightin’ and talkin’ in this game. Just like life, I guess. You gotta fight for what you want and sweet-talk your way out of trouble.
My grandkid keeps goin’ on about spells. Says you gotta pick the right ones, prioritize ‘em and all that. Sounds like choosin’ the right tools for the job. You ain’t gonna use a hoe to dig a well, and you ain’t gonna use a love spell when you need to blast a zombie. Common sense, ain’t it?
Metamagics, that’s another thing them young’uns are always jabberin’ about. Seems like it helps you fight better. And fightin’ is a big part of this BG3, from what I gather. Seems like there’s always somethin’ tryin’ to kill ya, whether it’s goblins, zombies, or just plain bad luck. Reminds me of that time a raccoon got into the henhouse, had to chase it out with a broom.
And the Charisma thing, that helps you talk good, they say. Makes sense. You gotta be able to sweet-talk folks, whether you’re buyin’ a cow or tryin’ to get out of a fight. Just like when I convinced the sheriff that it wasn’t my chickens that got into his garden. A little charm goes a long way.
Now, if you ask me, this BG3 and its three zombies, or whatever, it’s just a whole lotta fuss. But these young’uns, they love it. All this talk about classes and spells and fightin’, it’s enough to make your head spin. But I guess it ain’t so different from life, you know? You gotta choose your path, learn your skills, and fight for what you believe in. And sometimes, you just gotta smack a zombie in the face with a shovel.
So, if you’re gonna play this BG3, remember what I said. Pick a class that suits ya, learn them spells, and don’t go makin’ deals with no spooky beings. And for goodness sake, keep an eye out for them zombies. They’re sneaky buggers, just like them raccoons in the henhouse.
And that’s all I gotta say about that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go chase them chickens outta the garden again.
Key things to remember for BG3, or whatever it’s called:
- Pick a good class, like them Sorcerers or Wizards, or maybe a Cleric if you’re sneaky.
- Learn them spells, and use ’em right.
- Don’t trust them Warlocks, they’re up to no good.
- And most importantly, watch out for them zombies!
