That Rory McIlroy, he sure can whack that little white ball. I seen him on the TV, swingin’ that club like he’s choppin’ wood. They say he’s won lots of them big major tournaments. Four of ’em, I hear! Four big wins! That’s a lot of wins, more than old man Johnson’s got cows.
They say he won somethin’ called the U.S. Open in 2011. That was a while back. Then he won that PGA thing in 2012, and another one called the Open Championship in 2014. He’s been playin’ golf since he was knee-high to a grasshopper, I reckon. You gotta start young if you wanna be good at somethin’, that’s what I always say.
He got major wins. He got 26 of them PGA Tour things. Twenty-six! That’s more than the number of chickens I used to have. He must be rich. I heard someone say he got 40 wins, total. That’s a lot of wins, 40. He’s probably got a big ol’ house and more money than he knows what to do with.
- He won the U.S. Open thing.
- He won the PGA thing.
- He won the Open Championship thing.
- He won 26 PGA Tour things.
They got these fancy names for these golf things. This Rory fella, he’s won a bunch, but there’s one he ain’t won yet. It’s called the Masters, I think. They wear green jackets there or somethin’. He came close once, though. Second place. That’s like bein’ the second-best pie at the county fair. Still good, but not quite good enough, ya know?
This Rory, he’s fast, they say. Like a rabbit hoppin’ through the garden. He won them four major things quick. Faster than most, I hear. Some fellas, they play their whole lives and never win that many. He’s got a gift, that’s for sure. Just like my Bessie could churn butter faster than anyone in the county.
Now, there’s these other fellas, they say they’re the best to ever play. This one fella, Tiger Woods, he’s won a whole heap of ’em. And another one, Jack somethin’. They won all four of them big ones, too. They call it the Grand Slam, like hittin’ the ball all the way to kingdom come. This Rory, he ain’t done that yet. But he’s still young, he’s got time.
I seen on the TV they talk about how much money he’s got. Millions! Can you believe it? More money than there are stars in the sky. They say he’s worth maybe 170 million, maybe even 288 million. That’s a lot of zeroes. He could buy all the land in the county with that kind of money. He could buy all the cows, all the chickens, heck, he could buy the whole darn county fair!
He’s a good boy, that Rory McIlroy. Works hard, plays hard. That’s what you gotta do. You gotta put your back into it if you want somethin’. He swings that club like he means it. And he’s won a lot, so he must be doin’ somethin’ right. He got many major wins.
- This Rory fella is worth a lot of money.
- He’s won a lot of golf tournaments.
- He hasn’t won the Masters yet.
- He’s fast at winning those major things.
But you know what? Even with all them wins and all that money, I bet he still puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. He’s just a man, after all. A man who’s good at hittin’ a little white ball. But still just a man. And that’s somethin’ to remember, ain’t it? He’s good at golf, that Rory McIlroy. Real good. The best? Maybe, maybe not. But good enough to win them big major tournaments, that’s for sure.
I wouldn’t mind havin’ some of that money, though. I could buy me a new rocking chair and a whole lot of yarn. And maybe one of them fancy electric blankets. Yep, that’s what I’d do if I had all that money. That Rory McIlroy, he’s a lucky fella. Four major wins and all that money. He’s livin’ the dream, as they say. Livin’ the dream.
