Alright, listen up, y’all. Let’s talk about them big ol’ whopper weapons in that Elden Ring thingy, the one with the shadow and the trees. Yeah, the DLC, that’s what the young’uns call it. We’re gonna yak about them colossal weapons, the ones that make you go WHAM! and the bad guys go splat.
Now, I ain’t no fancy knight or nothin’, but I know a thing or two about hittin’ stuff hard. And these colossal weapons, well, they’re the ticket if you wanna do just that. They got all sorts, see? Swords as big as a barn door, hammers that could flatten a pancake, and even some weird finger thingy that… well, I ain’t quite sure what it does, but it looks mighty powerful.
First off, you got your colossal swords. These ain’t your little dinky pokers. These are the real deal, the kind that can cleave a troll in two with one swing. They say there’s a whole bunch of ’em scattered around in the DLC. You gotta go find ‘em, though. Ain’t nobody gonna hand you a weapon that big on a silver platter, that’s for sure.
- They got this one sword, a greatsword, they call it. Simple name, but it does the job. You can find it in a box, a coffin carriage they say, over in some place called Caelid. Sounds spooky, but hey, that’s where the good stuff is usually hidin’.
- And then there’s all sorts of other swords, each one a bit different. Some are good for bleedin’ the bad guys, makin’ ’em weak and wobbly. Some are just plain ol’ smashers, crushin’ bones and sendin’ enemies flyin’. You gotta figure out which one suits your style, see?
Then you got your other colossal weapons, not just swords. There’s hammers, clubs, and all sorts of bashers. These are for the folks who like to get up close and personal, who like to feel the crunch when they hit somethin’.
- They’re talkin’ about a new weapon, a Gazing Finger. Sounds creepy, right? It’s a colossal weapon, though, so you know it packs a punch. They say it uses somethin’ called Strength, which makes sense. You gotta be strong to swing somethin’ that big around.
- And let’s not forget them bleed weapons. There’s this Bloodfiend’s Arm, they say. Sounds nasty, and that’s a good thing when you’re fightin’ monsters. Bleed makes the bad guys lose health fast, makes ’em easier to finish off.
Now, findin’ these weapons ain’t always easy. You gotta explore, you gotta fight, and you gotta be willin’ to take a few knocks. But trust me, it’s worth it. Nothin’ feels better than waltzing into a boss fight with a weapon bigger than yourself and showin’ ’em who’s boss.
They say you gotta do a few things before you can even get to the DLC area. You gotta beat some fella named Radahn, then go mess with another fella called Mohg. Then there’s somethin’ about a cocoon and a withered arm… Sounds like a whole lotta trouble, if you ask me. But like I said, the good stuff ain’t easy to get. You gotta work for it.
So, if you’re lookin’ to lay the smack down in the Elden Ring DLC, you need yourself one of these colossal weapons. They got a whole list of ’em, all different types and sizes. You gotta look around, experiment, and find the one that feels right in your hands. And don’t forget to upgrade ’em, make ’em even stronger. The more damage you do, the better, right? That’s just common sense.
They talk about stats and scaling and all that fancy talk. Truth be told, I don’t pay much mind to that stuff. I just look at the weapon, see if it’s big and heavy, and if it is, I know it’s gonna do the job. Keep it simple, that’s my motto.
There’s this legendary twinblade, they call Euporia, hidden away somewhere. You gotta go through some caves and churches, find a ledge, and loot a body. Sounds like a treasure hunt, eh? Maybe I’ll go look for it myself, if I can ever figure out how to work that map thingy.
So there you have it. A little bit of info about them colossal weapons in the Elden Ring DLC. Go find yourself a big ol’ smasher and start crackin’ some skulls. And don’t forget to have fun, ’cause that’s what games are all about, right? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go sharpen my… uh… never you mind. Just go play the game!
